Thursday, March 29, 2007

Heart attack watching Cricket !!!

We all have read it in that corner of the morning newspaper after a closely watched game, or a well-fought low scoring tie. It's about that small town man dying of a heart attack while watching the game. It's happened again. Raju "in his 30s" from Hyderabad died of heart attack during this India-Sri Lanka game in World Cup. It's sad, totally. Losing a 30-something is always sad especially when you realize you are in that age group yourself! But, dude, where exactly was the nerve-wrecking tension that can cause a heart attack? It's not as if India was fighting a great battle or was so close to the victory that Raju could not even get up to pee.

Sri Lanka batted first. Scored lot of runs. Indians had really lousy body language. In the earlier world cup, you just had to look at Javagal Srinath's face to be sure of India losing.

This time you could just take a look at any of them. Even Ramki, the "computer analyst", was quite glum. When India started the chase, it never -- even for a single over -- looked like India was winning, or even going to give Sri Lanka a good fight.

So, what was Raju's excuse?

Also, I have a basic question to media people. How exactly do you differentiate between one dying from watching the game and one dying because, let's say, his time had come. Journalists surely don't cover these 30-somethings' home or club to keep an eye on their pulse rate. So how do they know about the attack and correlate with the cricket match? What's the process here?

Apparently, 2.5 million people die of heart attacks in India every year - that's 4.75 people dying of heart attacks a MINUTE! To get an idea how big the 4.75 number is - we don't even play 4.75 bowlers, we play 4! So, during a one-day international, on average 2200 people are expected to die, if you give or take the time Ravi Shastri and co. analyzes the pitch on or Mandira Bedi adjusts her noodle straps to prevent certain vertical rolling motions inflicted by age and overuse. If I take the TV infiltration rate and the viewers' rating into calculation - that's still about 500 people dying of heart attack in India while watching an average one-day international game. How come Raju alone gets the news space? Is it because his friends - whom he fought with - were busy calling the newspaper while poor Raju was having an attack. May be that's why he died. He needed an ambulance, people! It's not an India-Australia match in late 80s that should warrant a fatal heart attack. It's Sri Lanka for God's sake. And they're the best Asian team now! Dying of an attack watching this would be akin to have an attack watching a Maldives Vs Brazil soccer game. How dumb would that be? Your immunity, central nervous system must be totally out of whack to even have a palpitation at such occasions. I mean what would the Noradrenalin system of a normal human being be telling the cardiac one? I would presume something like -

"Chill dude. Come back during the 47th over of the semi-final. You're not so DUMB!"

What about the other 499 poor souls? Did they die during a boring ad? I understand nobody could have a heart attack *and* die - these days - in the extreme short span Sachin Tendulkar remains on the crease. But, still, someone should do the analysis. I need to know more about these people.

So, folks, get the cable out. There still would be about 500 fatal heart attacks during an Indian game. There still would be one unlucky guy who would get the headlines next day. If you are one truly unlucky one, and still get to say your last words if it does happen, please say something like - "I was actually watching a Balaji soap!" Or, may be "Was reading the gas belly blog!". It doesn't hurt to little soft-lie to avoid bigger public embarrassments.

1 comment:

Dipta Chaudhuri said...

I have just become the first person to comment on your blog (like most other things in your life)!

This is my last comment as well because you can hardly comment when you agree with everything - and have this feeling that one would have written it, given a chance!